I have stressed over this post more than any other so far. It’s just so hard to think of a band that I really, truly hate. I’m not a hater, yet I really enjoy writing about awful things. I find it much easier to write about a terrible movie than a good one… the vitriol just bursts out of me and into the computer.

But I just couldn’t do it… I couldn’t think of a band I hate that I could write something interesting about. I didn’t want to pick an easy option, but I don’t think I have any other option.

So here we go.

Sit down, story time.

My parents are both teachers in Perth, Western Australia. There is this really great exchange program between education departments in different countries. When I was nine, my family switched lives with a family in Hanna, a town in Alberta, Canada. This little country town had a population of 2,847 in 2006 but had a large school that I am guessing serviced neighbouring communities.

My family loved our time in Hanna. It was damn cold most the time (walking to school in -40 is quite an experience) and the houses were very different to the brick houses common in Australia. I loved the fact that we had a basement… but the basements were generally quite cold because the internal heating system was in the basement and the outlets were at the top of the rooms to be close to the upper floors. I remember watching Twister and being scared. I played ice hockey. Against teams that were much younger than I as I received some kind of handicap for being Australian.

During the summer we went on an adventure through Canada and around the USA. There is nothing like experiencing Disneyland as a 10 year-old. Around Canada there are many places that I remember. Even when I was young I could recognise the natural beauty of Banff and Lake Louise, places relatively close to where we lived. I also remember going to West Edmonton Mall, at the time the largest shopping centre in the world. It had an ice rink, a hotel, a water park and a theme park including possibly the greatest attraction EVER – laser tag inside an inflatable arena. I don’t know if I dreamed that, but I am almost certain it is true.

What does all of this have to do with awful bands? Well a lot of men in Hanna had beards. Great, great beards. In some ways I think that the beards of the town sucked all of the musical creativity out of the citizens – which is kind of strange because beards and rock and roll often go hand in hand. Not in little old Hanna though. What did Hanna do to this world? What kind of awful escaped from the quiet garages of this tiny town?

Nickelback.

When I discovered this, I didn’t quite know how to feel. I try to forget it most days, I don’t want my memories of my time in Canada to be fractured by something so horrendous and offensive.